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We’ve all seen and heard kids having a tantrum. The heart-stopping, blood vessel constricting panic it sends me into is unforgettable. Kids that are yelling, shouting at each other, throwing things, and running around all in the same place is equally, if not more, terrifying.
So, what do you DO if this is happening to a child in your classroom or your home?
More importantly, how do you prevent it?
Mindfulness is a great tool that I use frequently with classes that are having a tough time or kids that are having a tantrum. But you have to set it up right to be successful. Most kids don’t just start breathing deeply and thinking mindful thoughts in the middles of chaos. You have to practice and prepare them ahead of time.
Praise your child when they are calm and focused
Notice when they are calm and working, or being focused, and give them praise! Let them know what it is that you like about the way they are behaving. Use targeted language to specifically call attention to their body, their movements, their voice, etc:
“I see that your body is sitting very still while you are reading; that is a safe way to sit.”
“I like that you just took a deep breath to help yourself pick a new color. I bet that kept your brain calm.”
“I can hear you very clearly while you are telling me about your problem because you are talking in a normal voice. That helps me understand you better.”
All of those examples do these three things:
- Use a sensory word to describe how and why you are noticing them
- Name the positive action that the child is exhibiting
- Tell them what that action is helping them achieve (why they should keep doing it)
Practice mindfulness with your child when they are calm
Introduce mindful breathing, or mindful noticing, when the child (or class) is in the correct brain state. If they are not feeling safe or cared for, they will have a hard time learning. If they are really silly or running with high emotions, it’s incredibly difficult to teach them something new and have it stick.
Demonstrate mindful practices yourself, and name them!
Anytime I am feeling particularly frustrated or emotional I try to take deep breaths that the class can see.
I’ll say, “I am feeling frustrated by the number of times I need to give reminders today, so I need to take a few deep breaths. You can do it with me if you need to.”
Or, if I’m feeling anxious and/or full of energy, I’ll do a hand mantra to help relieve some energy and stress. I will often take my hands out in front, press my thumb into each nail of my finger and then flick it away one at a time. If I teach them this while I do it they usually join right in the next time.
Use visuals to show your child what you are practicing and why
Watch a mindfulness video with them to prepare them what to do and why it is important. Draw a chart of their brain with the colors like this to show when they should use these practices. (Primarily in the red state when they need to feel reminded that they are safe).
Give a reminder that mindfulness helps you clear your mind of thoughts and worries so that you can learn better. It also helps prepare you to stay calm and focused in the moment. When big emotions or problems DO arise you will be better prepared!
Download the Mindfulness Breathing printables from my free resources library here! Kids LOVE these cute breathing pages with visuals and poems for descriptions.
Ok, now that you’ve prepared the kiddos, what do you teach them? What mindfulness practices work for kids?
Teach them to breathe in an out through their nose. They can be sitting up straight to allow for lots of room in the breath. Or they can be laying on their back to feel their breath go in and out of their tummy. I use a breathing ball to help lead breathing (or ask a kid to lead). It also helps demonstrate the way their lungs (or diaphragm) should expand with breath in, and contract with breath out. This cute book, I Can Breathe Like A… is a great option (affiliate link).
Help them learn how to listen to silence. Start with a soothing sound of a singing bowl or chimes (affiliate links). Something that lasts for a long time that they can listen to until it is silent. Prepare them for a nice sound and let them know that they should listen carefully until they can no longer hear the sound, and then raise their hand.
Once you’ve mastered that, try to have a listening session for a minute or two. Tell them to listen for sounds that are very quiet and after you ring the bell they can raise their hand to share what they heard.
Teach them a basic sun salutation, or some easy chair yoga. Use slow inhales and exhales to guide each movement:
Inhale circle sweep your arms up; exhale to a forward fold.
Inhale roll back up and reach up; exhale hands to heart.
Inhale circle sweep to the sky; exhale reach to the side.
Inhale reach back up; exhale arms to the other side.
After they know the movement, get them to try it with their eyes closed to listen to their breath. To try to feel the movement in their bodies. A book with some great movement options is Mindful Movements (affiliate link) by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Mindful movement can also be encouraged when you do repetitive sequences of movement or poses. Do a pose once. Let them know what they did well, and ask them to try it a little differently next time. Do the pose or sequence a couple more times and see if they can do it differently! (Slower, faster, bend knees more, reach arms higher, etc).
Noticing language is a great tool. In the Responsive Classroom model of teaching, it is called Reinforcing Language, because it helps to reinforce positive behaviors. It also tells kids why what they are doing is important or helpful.
Noticing language is also great for reinforcing mindfulness when you model noticing emotions, feelings, or things about the environment.
I notice that when I took two deep breaths, I could feel my heart rate slow down. (Reinforces Mindful Breathing)
I notice that after the activity I feel a little silly, so I am going to squeeze my hands a few times to redirect that energy. (Reinforces Mindful Movement)
I notice that you look a little sad. Would you like a hug? (Reinforces Mindfulness of emotions)
I notice that the yoga mats are all out of place. Who could help straighten them? (Helps students recognize and be mindful of their environment)
All of these practices are SO useful to have practiced for when a class or kid need some calming down.
Start a mindful breathing activity, use a singing bowl to help them listen and relax. Remind them that these big feelings are ok and they will pass, but it’s important to get their brain back to a more calm space.
I hope you enjoyed this post on Mindfulness for kids! Let me know if you have any other thoughts, ideas, or questions below.